It seems like people are going through a lot of shIFts in recent months in their lives and in their careers and with their families.

I have coached some people that seem to want to play the “Blame Game” by projecting onto others all the reasons why things are the way they are in their lives.

In the world of Professional Coaching, it is understood that coaches do not always tell people what “they want to hear.” People pay coaches to help them move forward from their current reality, so… professional coaches ”speak the truth” and help their clients see the “REAL PICTURE” instead of allowing any self-perpetuating ”illusions” that do not serve the client, to continue.

One area this can be done, is by asking people who like to see themselves as “leaders”, this question: “How do you show up as a leader?”

It seems to me that when people are having “trouble” leading their employees or when people are having “trouble” even leading their families/children, this is the key question for them to ponder.

Follow up questions to that question may be:

1. Are you a person who models the behavior you are looking for in the people you lead? How do you do that?

2. Are you a person who is “present” to those who need your support? How do you do that?

3. Do you “pay attention” to all that is going on (emotionally or physically) with those people that you lead? Do you show that you care, if the people you lead are having any emotional or physical problems, or do you keep it ALL BUSINESS?

4. Are you actively using your heart that show the people you lead, that you understand them, support them, care about them, acknowledge them and CAN TRULY LEAD THEM because you care? 

5. Do you respect the people you lead and do they respect you? Do they feel your respect and do you feel theirs?

6. Who are people who are leaders whom you respect? Do you emulate their leadership skills in anyway?

Ponder these questions, take an inventory of “how you show up as a Leader” and make some shIFts in your leadership skills, IF you feel you may be falling short.

You may want to read some books on leadership, take some courses or hire a coach to help you.

Here are some books that may help you:

Leadership by the Book: Tools to Transform Your Workplace ~ By Kenneth Blanchard, Bill Hybels & Phil Hodges

The Leadership Training Activity Book: 50 Exercises for building Effective Leaders ~ By Lois Hart & Charlotte S. Waisman

Here is a great quote on Leadership:

” Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done, because he wants to do it.”

~ Dwight Eisenhower

True leaders are admired, respected, and honored by those they lead. They are not feared and ignored with apathy or “back stabbing behavior”, by those they lead.

IF you call yourself a leader, then LEAD! Don’t blame others for things that are not happening…remember, when you point your finger at others there are 3 fingers pointing back at you!

You may have your heard the expression:

“ LEAD, FOLLOW OR GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

IF you shIFt, those whom you lead will shIFt.

All the best in your leadership,

Christina Carpentier

Master ShIFt Coach